Happy
by blainersglee
Summary: A short Haleb one-shot in which Hanna writes a letter to Caleb four months after their breakup.


**i wrote this after getting my heart broken for the first time a few days ago. it was a spur of the moment and i'm quite proud of it. it's short and not like my usual work, but nonetheless fun to write. i wrote this as a closure for myself and i hope you enjoy it.** **please review and thank you guys for your love like always. 3**

 **please overlook any spelling errors as i have not spellchecked yet.**

 **happy ; one shot ; 1,673 words**

She didn't know what to say the night he told her it was over. They were standing outside the Rosewood Grille in the pouring rain at nine P.M. and while it should've felt the same, it didn't.

He wore a nice button up while she wore the pink dress he usually adored. He would always tell her how beautiful she looked in it. How it brought out her golden locks and cute smile.

He didn't say anything that night.

To be perfectly honest, she wasn't expecting a breakup. As far as she knew, their relationship was fine minus his distance the last few days. He wouldn't return her calls, texts, or voicemails and she dismissed it as she was positive he was busy.

He wasn't busy though and watched as her messages poured through, but simply bit his lip and clicked the red trash can. It hurt to do it, but it was something that had to be done.

She ran her mouth a mile a minute when she got in the car. Usually he would join in, sharing his own stories and laughs, but he didn't this time.

Hanna Marin didn't know that it would be the last time she would be in Caleb Rivers' car.

That she would be told she deserved better.

That her entire world would come crashing down.

Four months after it happened, she gained enough courage to sit down and write. Now, she was no English professor like Ezra Fitz or a reading fanatic like Aria Montgomery, but she felt as if she wrote to Caleb, she could write a masterpiece.

 _Dear Caleb_ , she had written on that night, curled up in one of his old t-shirts and sweatpants.

I _'m doing okay. You can tell people that you don't care about me or how I'm feeling; yes, I've heard the rumors, but I know that deep down, you've got a heart of gold and care about everyone and everything. You're a gem, Caleb, regardless of the fact you broke my heart in two._

 _I know you're with her. It's kind of obvious not to see it when you two are all over each other. Kind of like you and I were only a few months ago but as Dr. Seuss once said, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened._

 _I faked my smiling at first. I definitely cried because it was over. I cannot tell you how many nights I stayed over at one of the girls' houses with tears streaming down my face. It didn't matter how much junk food and romantic movies they shoved in my face. It would never be enough to soak up the tears that spilled from my eyes because of you._

 _I'm doing a whole lot better now._

 _Aria got me into photography, Ali taught me to play piano, and I got into jogging every morning with Emily and Spencer._

 _Well, not every morning. You know how I am._

 _Or, you knew how I used to be._

 _I haven't changed that much. I'm still the same ole Hanna. I'm just stronger._

 _You taught me a lot of things, Caleb. One of them being to never judge a book by its cover. You absolutely infuriated me when we first met. Can you believe how long ago it was? It feels like yesterday in a way, but also feels as though it's been five years._

 _We graduate in two weeks. I'm still in shock. There are no words to describe my feelings towards it other than a hole in my heart that will never be healed. It's right beside of the one you left._

 _You always told me I didn't think highly enough of myself and while I would treat myself to designer clothes and handbags, it was because of the publicity and name it got for me and it wasn't for me in general._

 _Don't let what I'm about to say go to your head because your ego doesn't need to be at bigger (just joking) but you were right._

 _I love myself. Everything about me from the the flaws to the blemishes to the perfections. Instead of stressing over exams, I studied and worked hard. I passed all of them, Caleb. Remember when I broke down that night on our date because I realized how close it was getting and Spencer was already starting to study? It was our second to last date. It was the one before you ended everything._

 _You told me to not freak out, bought me a cupcake, and said to enjoy life right now because stressing won't get me anywhere._

 _I live by that saying to this day._

 _Sometimes I sleep in the shirts I stole from you. When it hurts more than usual, I inhale the scent of you. Of us. Of what we had._

 _I know it sounds insane, but home is where the heart is and you're my home. You still are. I won't lie about it. There were so many lies in our relationship that it doesn't even matter anymore._

 _I still think chocolate is better than vanilla by the way. I still think you're stupid for believing anything could beat chocolate. Remember when we tried to start a riot over which flavor was better? It was hilarious._

 _There are times, almost all the time, when I play out scenarios in my head that consist of you telling me it was all a mistake or us throwing our graduation caps up in their as we have a cliché moment like from One Tree Hill. Anything and everything that involves you; I think of it._

 _You say you didn't think you were good enough for me, yet you didn't even think to consider or ask me for my opinion because you know what I would've told you?_

 _I would've told you that, yeah, maybe I do deserve better but I don't want better. That I wanted what was given to me. You were given to me for a reason, Caleb, and it was not for you to get up and walk out the door._

 _You've hurt me beyond what I thought was possible. You took a gullible, naïve girl and turned her into someone that doesn't look in the rearview mirror twice. Stronger and more independent._

 _I wish I could've turned into that without how it happened, but I'm still thankful the experience made me a better person._

 _I forgive you._

 _I know it's weird to hear, but you were forgiven all along. Yes, you broke me. Yes, you've caused me a great deal of pain. But, no one will ever know how our memories and how I cherish them more than valuable jewelry._

 _You're the reason I cry into my pillow at two in the morning wondering why I'm not good enough and why no one loves me._

 _You're the reason why I can't eat watermelon Sour Patch Kids. You loved them and I can't even enjoy the snack without thinking of you._

 _It hurts beyond belief to see you happy. It's sounds rude, but I won't sugarcoat it. It's unfair for me to still be so upset, but you're so happy. Happier than me. Maybe even happier than when you were with me._

 _I hope you realize your mistake one day and that you'll come running back to tell me you messed up to which I'll reply with a sassy remark and turn on my heel, flip my hair, and walk away._

 _I'll make you pay when you do decide it's time to come back. Sorry, my mistake; **if** you decide to come back. You'll go through exactly what I went through- am still going through- and then I'll let you back._

 _Until that day comes, I'm going to spread my wings and try new things. I'm going to laugh at nothing, cherish times with my friends, watch random cartoons on Saturday morning just to feel like a kid again, and put just a little too much butter on my bagel without giving a care._

 _You see, when you get your heart broken, you think it's the end of the world and you want one of those sinkholes that exist down in Florida to come up to Pennsylvania and swallow you whole, but after that, you feel like you need to change everything._

 _I cut my hair into a bob. It's something I've always wanted to do, but never had the courage to. My hair reminded me too much of you so there was no questioning it when my hair stylist asked me if I was sure I wanted to cut off the beautiful blonde locks you loved._

 _Pain is inevitable. It's a necessity you don't know you need until you experience it. You can't wake up everyday and have no pain. That would be a perfect life and perfect lives just don't exist._

 _Remember that you are worth so much and that you will never understand how amazing you truly are underneath that exterior. You're like an apple. Peel the top layer off and the inside is just as nice._

 _That was a terrible simile, but the truth. I love you, Caleb, and I hope everything will work out one day._

 _They say everything happens for a reason and I didn't understand what the reason was for until now._

 _I think I'm starting to move forward._

 _With lots of love and nostalgia,_

 _Hanna Marin_

 _P.S. not to be rude or anything, but I'm_ ** _way_** _prettier than her. Even Ali said it; nothing compares to us._


End file.
